Another year has come and gone, and I find myself feeling as though it only began yesterday and has lasted forever. I imagine that is the sentiment of many, especially during times like these.
I have gone back and forth about how I wanted to write this New Year's Eve post. Since I am a firm believer in being honest and not sugar-coating reality or forcing positivity, I was going to talk about how challenging this year has been for me, explaining how I've learned that life doesn't just step back and let you rest after beating you up sometimes - you have to learn to roll with the punches (a skill which I am still struggling to develop). I was going to also talk about the high points and happy moments of 2021 - graduation, the Opry, antics with my band mates, animal cuddles, family moments - because while the good doesn't cancel out the bad, it certainly makes the whole thing worthwhile.
But as I wrote my early drafts, I got tired of my own words. I know what this year has been like for me. I know what I've learned, what has made me cry tears of anguish and what has made me cry tears of joy. I know my breakthroughs and my setbacks - I know the moments of which I'm ashamed, and the moments that make me proud. And you know yours. It hasn't been an easy year for anyone - and whatever that difficulty looked like to you, and even with all the good this year may have brought you too, you're probably just as ready as I am to go through the beautiful, incredibly human ritual of bidding farewell to one chapter and starting a new one, invigorated even if the only thing that has technically changed is the page number.
The pessimist in me sometimes tries to protest the significance placed upon the New Year - the sun is just coming up once more tomorrow - there's nothing special about it! But that doesn't change how refreshing it can be to give ourselves a sense of a reset. So I've stopped trying to explain myself to that grumpy old coot in my brain, and I simply embrace the fact that, if nothing else, the New Year is like a cool breeze on our sweaty brows, a scent of wildflowers and pine wafting down from the oasis towards which we're climbing on this mountain. And when we catch that breeze and smell those scents, we are suddenly reminded to look to our left and to our right, and to realize that there are wildflowers and pine trees growing along the trail we are hiking, too.
When I wish you and myself and the family a Happy New Year, this is what I mean, on this balmy New Year's Eve.
I wish for 2022 to be a rich year. A year filled with vibrancy. Experiences that really mean something to us, that really stick to our ribs and feed our souls. Emotions which we allow ourselves to feel and address instead of forcing them down and locking them away. When we cry, we cry. When we laugh, we laugh. When we don't know how we feel, we rest in the quiet. If we need to scream at the universe while alone in our cars, we let 'er rip. Never let it be said that in 2022, we stayed meek and mild and tasteless.
I wish that for every time we get caught up in what seems the vast and overpowering stupidity of humankind as we grapple and fight over the most trivial things, we also remember that there are equally as many instances of beauty, grandeur, and bravery in our favor. Maybe the self-checkout lines are slammed full of frustrated people at Walmart, but did you know that currently the James Webb Telescope, launched mere days ago, is hurtling through space towards its destination one million miles from Earth, to capture images of the oldest stars in the universe? We may be wrapped in shadows, some days, and the darkness is very real. But so are the stars.
I wish for the energy and focus to navigate and even embrace the raging Autobahn that is my brain, with all of its ideas and concerns and distractions. And I wish for the ability to step away from that madness often enough to take some deep breaths, look at the world around me, and maybe, just maybe watch a movie all the way through without clicking to another tab on my computer.
I wish for music to envelop this world and lift it up like never before. I believe that it is a life force that can heal in ways no one will ever be able to fully explain, and I want to see that force unleashed without reservation.
I wish for this year to bring us closer than ever to our ancestors, our lost loved ones, and our histories, so that we live in harmony and deep connection with them, learning and finding peace and comfort therein.
I wish for this year to bring back a real sense of community. I wish for the chronic loneliness of the Internet age to be replaced by diligent and persistent efforts to reconnect, to put our feet back on the ground, to learn how to be together.
Color. Warmth. Action. Gusto. Grit. Empathy. Dancing. I wish for 2022 to burst at the seams with life.
From my heart to yours, Happy New Year.
With love,
Samantha
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